I knew I was in trouble when the pain went above my tolerance level. I have always had a high tolerance for pain! I knew something was wrong when the pain began to move from my wrist to my ankles, from shoulders to chest, from head to toes. I knew something was wrong when two days of pain became four days and four days became weeks. And two years later, it’s still hard to explain to people a pain that never goes away. A pain that affects your entire body and that can sometimes get so bad it’s hard to breath! It’s hard to explain to people when you look like there is nothing wrong, but some days you just curl up in bed and medicate. So you hide it most of the time. It affects you mentally; you think you are going crazy. Actually, in the beginning I was told by the “professionals” that it was in my mind, until they finally figured out the problem and came up with a diagnosis. And then they think you are crazy again because you refuse to accept the diagnosis! I’m not telling this because I want pity (I have passed the pity party stage), I’m telling this because someone is dealing with their own pain, and it may not be physical. Someone has their own story. It could be the pain of depression, the pain of divorce, the pain of loneliness, financial pain, the pain of addiction, or the pain of losing a love one. I want you to know that I tried to stand, I fought hard! For a year I dealt with the pain in secret and silence. I believe that was the problem. I stood, I fought, and I dealt with the problem.
When I could no longer stand, I knelt down to God and I let Him know I was tired and that I was giving my pain to Him. Even when the pain is unbearable, even when we can’t move, even when we are crying, we must pray, we must give our pain to Him, and then trust God, not our feelings. You can call me crazy, but I refuse to accept defeat, in spite of a diagnosis. I refuse to accept defeat because of what my bank account looks like! I refuse to accept defeat because someone walked out of my life! I just refuse to accept defeat! (John 5:4) We serve a God who is greater than any diagnosis, circumstance or problem! (1 John 4:4) Listen, Jesus suffered and died so that we could be healed! I live by His promise, Isaiah 53:5, no matter what it looks or feels like!
We must breakdown the strongholds of satan against our bodies, our finances, and our families. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) We must realize that we are the temple of the Holy Ghost. (1 Corinthians 3:16) Greater is He that lives in us than he who lives in this world. Once we realize this, we will experience the power of God. God is greater, and when we simply trust in His wisdom, we are able to behold all the greatness of God! I’m not saying I no longer have pain, I’m saying that God is greater than the pain. His grace is sufficient(2 Corinthians 12:9)and He is using me in ways that I have never imagined! Believe in the promises of our God. When everything is going good in our life, we will probably boast in ourselves. When things are going bad, that’s when we will glorify God and trust in Him more because we know it’s only the almighty God that can help us. And He gets all the credit when we get through it. I know the struggle is real, but so is our God! You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. You may feel that you can’t stand any longer, that’s ok, just kneel. Keep praying, keep fasting. Sometimes God doesn’t answer in our way or our time, but He answers in the best way and at the best time! Sisters and brothers don’t give up when it’s raining or you won’t see the sunshine when it comes.(2 Chronicles 15:7) And it will come! I am a witness of the glory of God! Please read God’s Word in “Food For The Soul”. Love and Blessings…..