Some people believe that if you are single, you are lonely.  It is so often assumed that those who have not yet found that special person are experiencing waves of loneliness.  In reality, there is a magnificent difference between being lonely and being alone. Being lonely is that kind of aching that resonates in your chest. That dull, constant feeling that follows you around all day long. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or whom you’re with, actually you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. Loneliness is that prominent gaping hole in your life that just can’t seem to be filled regardless of what you do. It’s like the feeling you have when you are grieving only no one has died. Trust me the only way to fill that hole is through Jesus Christ. No relationship, no amount of money, no status, nothing but our Lord God can fill that hole. Loneliness can be an invitation for God to come into our presence. There have been times when I felt lonely and opened up God’s Word and his presence soothed my soul.

But being alone is a different situation completely. Being alone is a state of being; loneliness is a state of mind. Being alone is taking the time to really think about what you want from someone the next time around, because you are going to do everything in your power that you never suffer from that lonely disease again. Being alone is going to a movie and dinner by yourself or reading a book at the park, and enjoying every single minute of it. Being alone is doing things by yourself, but also doing them for yourself. Of course, there are those times when being alone crosses paths with being lonely. For a brief moment that dull feeling aches in your chest; especially when you see couples together, but it doesn’t stay. Loneliness will try to force you to find that company with another person. You can always find company in yourself. If you let the loneliness consume you, you’re going to lose that rare chance to figure yourself out. One of the most destructive lies that single women and some men tell themselves is the lie that they are too old: too old to date, too old to marry, too old to follow your dreams. Whether you are 30 or 80, you probably had that thought. I have. Don’t buy into that lie. This is what I found out; when it comes to God and his plans for us, as long as he lets us breath, we are not to old! God does not do age! You are not too old for God to give you your soul mate, your dream job, your house or whatever breakthrough you are longing for. Do not give into the temptation to worry about being too old. God’s timing is perfect!

I have a confession. Honestly, sometimes (a lot) I would rather be alone. I hardly ever get lonesome. It seems the older I get, the more I like it. I can isolate myself even when I’m with someone. Sometimes I will tell people just enough but not enough for them to really know me. The real me I keep behind this wall that has sprung up from somewhere. Very few people I let behind the wall. Don’t judge me! I know this is not a good thing. God is working with me to tear down the wall. Because the Jesus who I have decided to model my life after did not have superficial relationships. Jesus lovingly broke down barriers and intentionally got to know people. He didn’t avoid painful situations and wasn’t overwhelmed by people’s needs. So on the days that I rather be alone, I try to think about my friend Jesus and His plan’s for me. He wants me to step out of my comfort zone. With His help I am tearing this wall down, one brick at a time. I’m definately not too old for improvement. The truth of the matter is God is not looking for people who are married or who is single. God is looking for a man or woman who is willing to say “yes, Lord, I’ll go where you want me to go and I will do what you want me to do.” All you need is a willing heart. Let God handle finding your soul mate. He did it for Adam while he slept. He did it for Ruth, when she least expected it. He will do it for you. In the meantime being alone can be the most empowering experience of your life; embrace it. Much Love…


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