There was a time when I wrestled with anxiety constantly. I worried about big things, small things and everything in between. When something terrible or distressing happened to me, I cried until there were no more tears left. I did a good job of hiding my anxiety. I would find a private place; because I dared not let anyone see me cry. It didn’t fit my “strong woman” image. Many of us cry in secret and rarely let others witness our tears. My heart simply broke into pieces, and I felt trapped, depressed and defeated. There are times we all may feel desperate and powerless. It is even worse when we are afraid to let anyone know we feel this way. Because we believe we will be judged or looked upon as weak. I would question God, wondering why and how He allowed a circumstance to exist. I questioned His favor and allowed my fear and doubt to question His plan. No wonder I felt alone. It doesn’t matter know how many people I would have confided in, I still would have felt alone without Jesus. We cannot hide our tears from God. He sees them and He wants us to trust Him so He can comfort us. Surrendering my life completely to Jesus was the best thing I ever done! I know people say that all the time, I really mean it. Now when life happens to me, I may still cry, but I feel comforted inside. And I’m no longer afraid to let anyone see me cry, because I am not afraid to admit that I am weak, I found Jesus in my weakness, I am nothing without Him. He makes me strong in spite of my weakness. So judge me if you want. All I know is that now even when I am sad outwardly, my heart isn’t heavy. I don’t understand why, but deep down inside me, there is something that lifts me up in the mist of whatever is going on. I believe that something is peace, which rises from the Holy Spirit living within me. It is beyond description; at least right now I can’t totally explain it. But I can tell you what the scripture says. We cannot be completely distressed because Christ in us is the Prince of Peace. And Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). It may be a bad situation and you might feel hopeless, but if Christ lives in you, He is the way. God says He will always provide a way out for us. We are not defeated because Christ in us is our victory. (1 Corinthians 15:57) Scripture repeatedly tells us not to be afraid. Because of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, our fears do not have to rule our lives. We will face hard times in this life. But God promised to be with us through it all. Our Heavenly Father never takes His eyes off His children. We can’t avoid some situations and heartaches, but we can live with confident faith relying on our Helper and Protector who watches over our lives. As I look over my life I can see He has most definitely comforted and stretched me through every trial and storm. I am thankful. Sometimes the struggles we face in this life are big, but God is bigger. I’m not saying fear does not try to creep into my being, but now I immediately lift my eyes from my fears, and in faith and dependence, look to the One who promised to comfort us. Because the Holy Spirit lives in us, no bad circumstance can or will ever cause us to be destroyed or forsaken by God! I can now look back and I am thankful He said “no” to so many of the prayers I desperately wanted Him to answer with “yes.” All that worrying for nothing. He is God! He is able and He is more than enough! I still shed tears but at the same time you can bet I am surrendering all of my pain to Him. And unlike before, I leave it there. He comforts me through my tears. I trust Him. And what God has done for me in return is rained down blessings, restoration and healing. God’s comforting presence is more powerful than anything we may face! He promised never to leave us. We can trust Him fully. Love and blessings…
EMMANUEL 